Às avessas

Um casamento por procuração. Um baú cheio de sonhos misturados com o dote num vapor do Cabo. Um homem de chapéu à sua espera em  “Capitão” [ porque de Cape Town não conhecia o sentido]. Um comboio. Joanesburgo. Um medo enorme do futuro numa casa pronta à sua espera.

Ilda traz uma história triste para contar: uma história de inteira submissão ao marido, de inteiro desconhecimento do dinheiro, de inteiro desconhecimento da língua, de dores e de lágrimas, de medo, de solidão.

Sozinha, em casa, no silêncio angustiante de quem não sabe dizer uma palavra, vive uma gravidez sem acompanhamento, um filho com deficiência e outras coisas que não conta mas que os olhos e a inquietude das mãos denunciam.  Traz uma história de negócios ilícitos, de prisões  e de fugas. 

Regressa. Só  na ilha se assume Eu:

- o negócio era meu, fui eu que escolhi a casa,  agora sou eu que mando .

A nossa história não é uma história feliz. Mas talvez seja a história comum de muitos emigrantes que só se encontraram  com a vida quando regressam a casa.

Upside-down

The marriage was arranged. She barely knew him. She packed a bag and went on board to Cape Town, South Africa. There was a man wearing a hat waiting for her at the harbour. A train took her to Johannesburg. She could hardly disguise the anxiety of a future totally unexpected and a house waiting to become a family home.

Ilda has shared a sad story with us: she was a submissive wife, she did not speak English and thus she was totally dependent on him even for money. Her husband was involved in illegal business. He was arrested. Then he ran away. She did not know of his whereabouts.

Alone at home, without being able to speak a word with nobody she endured a pregnancy with no medical surveillance. A disabled son was born and she remembered the pain, the suffering, the tears, the fear and the loneliness. She did not say too much but her trembling voice and hands denounced so much more.

Later, the family came back to Madeira. Only then Ilda had the willing force to become a self:

-          I decided to buy a greengrocer’s, I chose the house to settle in, now, I was in charge.

This is not a happy story but life isn’t always colourful and we are sure that some emigrants who left Madeira looking for better living conditions, sometimes had to come back in order to find exactly what they were looking for.